Log in

Hello, I'm new. I'm due with my first child in September. I'm… - A Community For Jewish Parenting [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
A Community For Jewish Parenting

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Jun. 9th, 2009|10:28 pm]
A Community For Jewish Parenting


Hello, I'm new. I'm due with my first child in September.
I'm Jewish, my hubby is not. But he agreed he wants to raise the child Jewish. We're having a boy, and we know we're going to have a Bris.
Now my family and friends are fine with this. (even a lot of my anti-circ friends are respectful of my religious traditions)

I'm having a problem with lots of...well, I guess trolls, telling me I'm horrible for doing this to my son. And refusing to listen to or even remotely respect my religious decisions.
I have to admit this concerns me. I'm all for people having different opinions about circumcision, but I find that the majority of people are downright disrespectful of my religious beliefs. I often wonder if these are the ideals they will pass on...that if someone disagrees with you it's ok to call them awful and disrespect their religion and personal beliefs.

Anyone have any tips on handling this?
This behavior always pissed me off before I was pregnant...so I know I'm not being more overly sensitive about it.

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 02:50 am (UTC)
I've said that to a bunch of people. But I find the anti-circ group to be most unaccepting of other beliefs.

Online I try to avoid these people, but they seek people who post about circumcision and harass them. I actually found myself reading up on tradition of a Bris, the more I read about the spirituality behind it the more I knew I wanted my son to have one.

I'm also not a hugely religious person (I've got tattoos among other things), but there are certain traditions that are important to me. Even my non-Jewish hubby likes the idea of us having a Pidyon Ha'Ben for the baby.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 03:04 am (UTC)
I remember my cousin's bris, although I was only about 16 at the time. He didn't cry either, they gave him some wine on his lips and he was happy as a clam.
I feel I'm lucky enough to marry outside the Jewish genepool, yet still raise my child Jewish.
I try and tell people this is a decision between myself and my husband. He respects the traditions. I also find it hard to explain to non Jews the power of tradition. The need to continue something that has been done for thousands of years because it's part of who you are.

My husband walks around telling people both the baby's English name and Hebrew name. He wants to make sure he can say it. I guess I should just be happy that his very religious (Episcopalian) mother is respectful of our decision to raise him Jewish.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: stickylatex
2010-10-10 09:35 pm (UTC)
"This is the beginning of his relationship, may he live 120 years, with his people. Anti-circ activists say to let the child decide when he's older, but he only gets the chance to grow up Jewish once."

I just wanted you to know that this brought tears to my eyes. How very well-said.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lesliepear
2009-06-10 02:54 am (UTC)
I would tell them their arguments were interesting, but it was non negotiable. Most of the time, the people I dealt with were respectful for the religous reasons for it. Oddly enough it was only an issue online, not in real life.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 02:57 am (UTC)
ah yes, I guess people can be total disrespectful douchebags when they don't have to come face to face with the person.

I often show people the info I found about a Bris and the sheer spirituality behind it.

I just...needed to find some other people who weren't going to tell my I am horrible or don't deserve my child. I think that's what breaks me down the most.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: trempnvt
2009-06-10 03:55 am (UTC)
Are these people you know, or just people trolling you for kicks? If you don't know them, I would even both getting into it, just delete their comments and ban them if you need.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 04:09 am (UTC)
a bit of both.
And since some of them are in communities I can't exactly ban them.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kmelion
2009-06-10 05:18 am (UTC)
First of all, feel free to join us at Proud Moms of Circumcised Boys at CafeMom.

Second of all, I understand where you're coming from. For some reason, "I do this because God commanded me to" isn't a legitimate reason for some people. The best solution, if they continue to disrespect your belief is to simply stop going to these particular sites.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 12:49 pm (UTC)
I'll look into the community, thanks.
Hubby and I were talking last night and I said I almost felt like I needed a support group for it.
My kid isn't born and already people attack me.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: shadowkate
2009-06-10 03:32 pm (UTC)
I understand where you're coming from. For some reason, "I do this because God commanded me to" isn't a legitimate reason for some people.

One of my best friend is very very Anti-Circ and puts it along the lines of FGM. So when I told her that I was going to circumcise my son, she was offended. I finally told her (and have since used this argument on others online) that it was a cultural decision.

The people who I get it the worse from are other Jews. There is a message board I sometimes frequent, it states in the User Agreement they aren't interasted in hearing discussions on "routine infant medical circumcision" (which isn't exactly what we are talking about here). This is listed along with Formula Feeding, Cry it out methods and physical punishment.

This has been interpreted as "All Circumcisions = Bad". There is a group of Jews on there that are proudly Anti-Circ and badger any one who posts in the Jewish section with a boy if they circed. So much that a bunch of other Jews formed their own board where you can talk about that stuff.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2009-06-10 03:42 pm (UTC)
I guess I still don't see why either side has to attack the other.
It's a personal/cultural decision. And issues with this show how intolerant people really are.

I posted something on my twitter and had random people who search for it and attacked me.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: countfroggy
2009-06-10 10:50 am (UTC)
There are a lot of bigots out there on a bunch of different issues. Treat these the same.
(Reply) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: teawithfrodo
2011-02-13 01:51 am (UTC)
You're about 18 months late
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)